Memoirs of a Youko
by Zoi no miko
Summary: Kurama's past with Kuronue. Slashy, K/K ^_^


  
  
Just a quick note - this is an excerpt of a sequence of scenes from a much longer fic I may or may not post, depending. Please excuse, I know I'll take some liberties - For instance, I use "Youko" as a demon species as opposed to meaning "Demonic Fox". Other than that, enjoy!  
  
  
  
~~~~~  
Memoirs of a Youko  
~Zoi no miko  
  
  
Kurama scrambled under the fence and shook the dirt from his fur. Hearing a shrill screech  
near his ear, he froze, whiskers trembling. 'Okay. Okay, it's only an owl. Nothing to be afraid of. It  
won't hunt me, I'm a Youko. Okay, deep breath. I can do this....' He started towards the house, trotting  
along in the underbrush. Despite his efforts to calm himself, he was freaked out of his mind. He'd  
heard the tales of what happened to demons who broke the law, in fact, he was almost certain that  
those tales were circulated to keep demons from breaking to the law. Just the mere meantion of the  
labour camps could make even the toughest demon sweat.  
  
'And here I am, a stupid Youko, doing exactly what I swore I'd never do. But *anything* has  
got to be better than starving....' he stopped at the edge of the underbrush, surveying the house. The  
lights were out, and there was little sign of inhabitation. The only light came from the guard house at  
the front gate, barely visible from here. This was a summer house, no one was living here now.... it  
seemed like a good target, he thought. 'Now, to get in.... a-hah!' An open window, second floor. But it  
was awful high.... 'Hmm. If I went Youko again, I could jump from the rim of that well onto the sill.  
Yes, that'll do.' Taking a last look at the guard house, he skittered forward and sprang to the edge of  
the well. A mere thought was all that it took to shift back to his Youko form, tall and elegant with long  
silver hair and a tail, and silver furred fox ears. He readied himself for the jump.  
  
('Don't jump!')  
  
Kurama froze. 'Sending? What the - ' He shook his head slightly, silver hair swirling, and went to jump again.  
  
('I told you not to jump!') Without warning, a small dark shape came out of the darkness,  
screeching, and flew in his face.  
  
Kurama, startled, jerked back, lost his balance and fell in the well with a splash. The water closed over his head and he surfaced, coughing and treading water, trying to find purchase on the slippery walls.  
  
('Take my hand.')  
  
Kurama looked up. The sender looked over the edge of the well, leaning down and holding his  
hand out. Another Youko....  
  
('Take my hand,') he repeated urgently, ('Come on. Trust me.')  
  
Kurama hesitated, then took his hand.  
  
A sudden noise drew the other's attention. "Spit!" The Youko grabbed him by his armpits and  
physically pulled him out of the well. ('Good going, Einstine. You've alerted the guard.')  
  
Kurama stared at the him, climbing over the side, dripping wet. "Who - "  
  
('Hush! No time. If you don't fancy a trip to the labour camps, follow me!') The other Youko  
sent as he took off towards the garden wall. ('And don't step on the path!')  
  
Kurama, wisely, started after him. He couldn't see much of the other Youko in the darkness,  
only the tan of the skirt he wore flapping behind him as he ran, elegant bat wings and dark, ponytailed  
hair. ('Who are you?') He managed to send.  
  
('A friend,') Came the reply, and he jumped over the wall with a beat of his wings.  
  
Kurama followed, perching at the top of the wall for a split second before jumping down. He  
followed the dark Youko, twisting and turning through the streets of the city, keeping up with his  
abnormally quick pace with only a little difficultly. Finally he stopped just inside an alley, his back  
against the wall of a building, catching his breath.  
  
Kurama looked around and decided there was no eminent danger. "What was that all about?"  
  
"The window ledge I'm presuming you were about to jump on was warded."  
  
"To alert the guard?"  
  
"To knock you out. And when you'd woken up, you would have found yourself in a labour  
camp cell."  
  
"Oh." Kurama blinked. "Thank-you. How did you know?"  
  
"MageSight. I'm guessing that Mage isn't one of your gifts?"  
  
Kurama looked at him blankly. "Gifts?"  
  
The Youko stared at him for a momeant. "Hmm.... you are young, aren't you? That hair had me  
fooled." He paused, and Kurama felt a tingle go through him, starting at his sensitive ears and running  
through his body, into the ground. "You have Mindspeech.... Fetching, Empathy, Mage.... Plant  
Manipulation? Hmm. How serious are you about thieving? I'm guessing you've never stolen anything  
major before."  
  
"I've never stolen anything...."  
  
"Ah. Was this little escapade just a dare, or - " He paused. "You're starving."  
  
Kurama nodded silently, head lowered. "I - I'm sorry I messed up whatever you were doing, I - I have no idea - "  
  
The Youko put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I was finished." He held up a  
small, jeweled comb. "This'll buy us both food for a week or so."  
  
"But I -"  
  
"My name's Kuronue," The Youko finally introduced himself. "And I'm willing how to teach  
you how to really thieve without landing your butt in a camp."  
  
Kurama blinked. "I - I don't have any money...."  
  
"Obviously. I don't want any, anyhow.... what did you say your name was?"  
  
"Kurama."  
  
Kuronue raised an eyebrow. "You're from my clan? Huh. Fancy that. You must.... How old are  
you?"  
  
"Almost 65."  
  
"I'm over twice that.... you must have been only twenty or so when I left on that trade route,  
before The Change...." He grinned. "Fate really must have brought us together. I've been looking for a  
partner, Kurama, an equal. And I think I may have found one. There aren't many Youko around, let  
alone members of our clan.... Can I train you to be my partner, Kurama?"  
  
Kurama nodded. "I'd be stupid if I let your offer pass me by. Thank-you. I'd be grateful."  
  
* * *  
  
And time passes.....  
  
Kurama awoke in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. He sat up on his bed roll and tried to see through the darkness. It took a momeant for his sleepy mind to wake up, but when it did, he noticed that Kuronue's bed roll, a few feet away from him, was empty. He blinked and started toget up. Pushing back the covers, his ears pricked, and he froze.  
  
Someone was.... singing?  
  
He sat in the darkness for a few minutes, just listening. This wasn't just music, this was Youko  
music, forbidden music. He needed to find the singer, tell him to stop, before someone heard.... but it  
was so beautiful. 'It's been almost forty years,' he realized with a shock. Forty years since The  
Change. Since he'd head real music.... He continued to listen, furred ears straining to hear, no, drink in  
the music. He could feel warm tears trickle down his cheeks. Forty years was a long time to spend  
without a soul....  
  
He stood fluidly, crossing the room in bare feet and his sleeping robe to open the door to the  
next room. Kuronue knelt next to the low table in a half trance, eyes closed and mouth open with near  
wordless song, liquid sound, true music. Kurama paused, unwilling to break it, but knew he should.  
"Kuronue?"  
  
Kuronue's eyes snapped open, body tense, but he relaxed at the sight of his friend. "Did I wake  
you? I'm sorry."  
  
Kurama shook his head slightly. "That's all right," he murmured.  
  
"Will you join me, then?"  
  
Kurama's head jerked up. "Are you crazy?! If people didn't hear you, surely they'll hear the both of us!"  
  
Kuronue blinked. "I put a sound barrier up. There's been one here ever since I moved in. Didn't you know that?"  
  
"Sound barrier?"  
  
"Yeah. Oh, sorry. I forgot that you have no mage training. It's a little draining, I'm only a  
Journeyman Mage, but it's worth it...."  
  
"But it's forbidden! The music - " Kurama inturrupted.  
  
Kuronue looked slightly startled, then gave a sad smile. "You have been conditioned, haven't  
you?" He shook his head slightly. "Poor dear. Haven't you heard real music since The Change?"  
  
Kurama shook his head mutely, kneeling down beside him.  
  
Kurone smiled. "Sing with me, Kurama."  
  
"But - "  
  
"How can you stand it, being without our music? I was so empty after five years with no music  
that I couldn't be without it anymore. How could you -"  
  
"I never wanted to break the law," Kurama replied softly. "I only started stealing to live, because I was starving...."  
  
"But we need music! We need it just like we need food, Kurama. That's why the clans fell  
apart, because we had no music. You're so empty, Fox eyes. Like you've never lived, or loved....  
Kurama...." He stopped, then closed his eyes and began to sing again.  
  
Kurama hesitated for a momeant. Then he closed his eyes as well and joined in quietly,  
harmonizing. He knew the song, he realized. It had been a common one among the clan, he must have  
sung it a hundred times.... And with the blessed notes came back memories, memories he had been  
afraid that he'd lost. His mother, singing the same song, the happiness, the joy that it brought in his  
youth, enfolded securely in his mothers arms....  
  
Kuronue had been right. He *was* empty, his soul aching to be filled.  
  
Almost as if he knew, Kuronue pulled him into his arms, onto his lap. Kurama burried his face  
in his hair and started to cry, sobs wracking his lean body.  
  
Kuronue stroked his hair gently, still singing softly. Giving him the music that he needed.  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
"Well, that'll certainly help our reputation," Kurama remarked as they walked into their  
basemeant suite about an hour before dawn. He crawled under the table and began to prod carefully at the floor tiles with nimble fingers. Hitting the trigger spots in the right sequence, a tile slid away to reveal a recess in the floor. He stashed the money sack there, tacking out a few gold coins for food before setting the tile back into place again.  
  
Kuronue nodded. "Yeah, it never hurts to gain favor with members of the gentry."  
  
"What?!" Kurama sat up suddenly, bashing his head on the table.  
  
Kuronue chuckled. "Careful, Fox eyes."  
  
Kurama crawled back out, rubbing his head. "Our clients were Gentry?! What would they need with stolen stuff? Aren't they rich enough to buy anything they want?" He settled beside Kuronue on the sofa.  
  
"Yes and no. I'm guessing that the little music box we just delt with was originally stolen from  
our clients, and they decided that hiring us to steal it back was cheaper than buying a new one. And  
now that they know that we're honest...."  
  
"Honest thieves?" Kurama questioned.  
  
"We could have sold that box for more money than we were paid for it. I daresay we'll get a  
few more calls from that clan. They're generally honest demons."  
  
Kurama nodded. "Ah. I almost thought we were caught that time, though."  
  
"Well, we would have been if you hadn't gotten that vine to trip the guards," Kuronue replied.  
"You were great."  
  
"Thank-you so much for teaching me to use my gifts, Kuronue. I owe you one."  
  
Kuronue blinked. "Partners don't hold debts, Kurama."  
  
"But I do owe you! I owe you everything I have now! If it weren't for you, I'd be dead by now,  
or no better off than dead."  
"Kurama - " Kuronue sighed. He wanted to be Kurama's partner, his equal, not his meantor!  
And Kurama still saw him as a father figure, like he had when they'd first met. He'd been sure it would  
wear off, but it'd been twenty years.....  
  
He looked up to find Kurama looking at him. No, he realized with a shock, gazing was a better  
word. Gazing in admiration, and..... 'oh, gall." He caught Kurama's eye and he turned away, cheeks  
slightly red.  
  
Kuronue closed his eyes and almost moaned. He had been wrong, so utterly wrong. This wasn't  
meantorship, this was - this was a crush! He was attracted to him... 'I can only hope he's not....' He  
sighed. '....And I haven't been doing anything to discourage him, have I?' The two Youko were  
physically close - Kuronue needed the physical touch almost as much as the music.... which was  
another thing. Two Youko couldn't sing together as long as they had without being close. 'Has he  
interpreted me wrong? How long has my touch, my song been interpreted as something affectionate?  
I'm straight! Dosen't he know that by now?' He opened his eyes and looked at his friend. Kurama sat,  
cheeks still flushed, looking down at his hands. 'If I'd known he was shaych.... but then maybe he  
didn't know....' "Kurama?"  
  
The white haired Youko raised his head, meeting his gaze. "Yes?"  
  
"Have - have you ever had a girlfriend?"  
  
Kurama blinked, flushing again. "No."  
  
"I can understand that. You were so young before the change, and afterwards everything was so screwed up...."  
  
"Actually," Kurama cleared his throat, feeling a butterfly in his stomach. "I - I don't think I'm  
attracted to girls." He let out a breath. 'There. I said it.'  
  
Kuronue leaned against the back of the couch, staring at the opposite wall. "I figured as much,"  
he said slowly.  
  
Kurama swallowed, and his eyebrows crinkled slightly. "You did? Then why - "  
  
"Kurama - " Kuronue stopped and turned to look him, concerned. "Fox eyes, I'm straight."  
Kurama sighed, and it almost tore Kuronue's heart. "I thought you knew, I - "  
  
"I know you are," Kurama reassured. 'Oh gall. He knows.... I....' "I'm sorry."  
  
"For what? For being the way you are? It's not your fault."  
  
"I - I'm not attracted to you, Kuronue." Kurama said quietly.  
  
"Can you look me in the eyes and say that?"  
  
Kurama swallowed and held his gaze. "I - I'm not...." An expression of hurt crossed his face  
and he closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."  
  
Kuronue let out a small moan. "Kurama...."  
  
"I'm sorry," the white haired youko repeated.  
  
Kuronue paused, thinking. Then - "Sing with me, Kurama."  
  
Kurama's head jerked up. "What?"  
  
"Sing with me," he repeated, and began to Sing. It was a sharing Song, a friendship Song, but it didn't have to be....  
  
Kurama, after a momeants hesitation, joined in.  
  
Kuronue started to harmonize, forcing Kurama to take the melody. Then he started to tilt the  
tone of the Song, started to slowly twine his voice with the others.  
  
Kurama shivered, and fumbled to a stop. He stood, hurt and confusion written on his face.  
  
Kuronue blinked, reaching out to place a hand on his arm. "Kurama - "  
  
"Dangit, Kuronue!" He jerked his arm away. "Don't - I can't - don't torture me!" He darted into  
the sleeping room before Kuronue could stop him, locking the door behind him.  
  
Kuronue crossed the room and rested his head against the door, rought wood grating on his forehead. "Kurama -" He tried again.  
  
"Please, just go away!"  
  
Kuronue swallowed. "Fox eyes...."  
  
A moan. "...please, don't call me that."  
  
Kuronue sighed, trying to decide what to do. 'i do love him.... i'd do anything for him. but i don't think i *can* love him like that, i don't know if i'm physically capable... but i can sing....' He took his bat form and squeezed under the door, going Youko again. "Sorry to invade your privacy,"  
He started, then took his trembling friend in his arms, "But I can't stand to see you hurting."  
  
Kurama clung to him, burrying his face in his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I - "  
  
"Shh. Kurama, I never said I didn't love you," he said softly.  
  
Kurama pulled back to look at him. "You - you said you were straight."  
  
"I am."  
  
Kurama looked away, hurt. "Don't play games with me, Kuronue. I really don't need that right now."  
  
"I'm not. I do love you, Fox eyes. I just don't think that I can, not in the way that you want."  
  
Kurama blinked. "I don't know what you mean...."  
  
"I mean that I wouldn't mind being your lover, Kurama. I love you, and it would be pratical, wouldn't hinder anything. I just...." he gave an apoligetic smile. "I don't think I can. I'm straight, like I told you."  
  
Kurama nodded slowly. "I see."  
  
"I can sing with you, though."  
  
Kurama almost snorted. "You already sing with me."  
  
"No - I mean really sing with you - twine our voices. Like I started to do a few minutes ago."  
  
Kurama blinked. "A few... you mean.... what I was feeling just now when we were singing - that wasn't just me?"  
  
Kuronue shook his head, cupping his hand around Kurama's jaw. "It's supposed to be like that. Youko used to do it all the time. I never have, but I know how... Can we?"  
  
Kurama paused, then nodded and started to sing the song again, not resisting this time as Kuronue started to twine his voice with his, changing the lilt from friendship to sensual, passionate.  
  
Kurama could feel his heart pound painfully in his chest and he held Kuronue a little tighter, feeling a little bit light headed. ('Kuronue -')  
  
('Kurama.') The sending was warm, but slightly confused, with a hint of... of what?  
  
Kuronue continued to sing, twining his voice. The music was intense, more so than he'd  
anticipated, and heightened his emotion as only a Youko song could do. And he could feel his body responding as he'd half guessed, half hoped it would, rousing to the passions that he sang. It was thrilling, it was envigorating... and also a bit frightening. His song stumbled to a stop.  
  
Kurama blinked. "Kuronue?"  
  
He swallowed. "Oh, Kurama..." He pressed his lips against him, kissing him hard, smoothing a hand over his silver hair, down his back to rest on his butt. ('Oh crap... I'm sorry, Fox Eyes... I didn't think it would have this effect on me...')  
  
Kurama, caught up in the music himself, responded to the kiss, pushing his tounge inside  
Kuronue's mouth and arching his body to press against him. ('You are a hundred, thousand times  
forgiven - oop!') He drew a sharp breath as Kuronue pushed him back onto his bed roll to lie beneath  
him, pressing their lean bodies together as well as their lips. Then he sat up slightly, tugging at  
Kurama's tunic with trembling, eager fingers. Kurama flinched slightly as Kuronue's cold fingers  
touched his warm stomach, but arched into the touch, undoing the few buttons of Kuronue's tunic to  
embrace him, caress his strong back, feeling the slight bumps of his vertebrae under his nimble  
fingers. He moaned as Kuronue kissed his neck, warm lips against his nipples, his belly button, the  
soft skin of his inner thigh. Kurama might have needed music before, but now he needed love,  
physical love and compaionship, and Kuronue knew that he needed it too....  
  
And the sun rose on the day to find the black and silver Youko curled in eack others arms, fast  
asleep and happier than they'd both been in a long time....  



End file.
